Creative Project – Talking with Aija about The Happiness Jar App

Welcome to the Creative Project! This is the fourth interview in a series I’m doing with people who are working on a creative passion project in their lives. By ‘creative project’ I don’t mean just things related to the arts – but anything that is about bringing something fresh into the world, creating something that wasn’t there before and drawing on your own creative energy to make it happen.

What is the difference between people who get behind their ideas and make them happen and those who are swimming in ideas but never get moving on them? How are people making time for their creative projects and weaving them into their lives?

What can we learn from others who have backed their ideas with action?

I want you dear reader to be able to glean any gems from their experience that might help you with your own creative projects. I’ll even share stories about a couple of my own creative projects, and some of the learning I’ve done myself along the way. So let’s get started!


In 2016 Aija Bruvere created a free mobile App The Happiness Jar based on the principles of Positive Psychology. I stumbled across the app late 2016 when it was just launched and being shared by a colleague of hers in a business group that I’m in on Facebook. I thought it was a great tool and wondered more about how and why she thought to make it. Here Aija describes the creative process, the importance of trusting your instincts, and the next steps and vision for her project.

What is the happiness jar app? Can you explain it for someone who’s maybe not familiar with the concept of a happiness jar or how apps work? 

The Happiness Jar is a very simple tool (an app) on the mobile phone to allow anyone to notice, capture, sort and store happy moments. Instead of having a physical container, box or jar where you could put notes about your happy memories (which is also a great idea!) The Happiness Jar mobile app would always be within easy reach, right there on your phone. Keeping track of happiness becomes really easy, you can take new happiness snapshots or go through existing memories adding the special ones to your happiness collection. It is like visual gratitude journal (plus you can add written descriptions of happy moments too). The Happiness Jar is for your eyes only it is your personal treasure chest that does not get shared on social media or anywhere else.

You get to store all the happy photos or notes and you are also sorting them and creating your personal happiness timeline and profile. So after a while it becomes clear if more often happiness for you is about for example Positive emotion or maybe Enjoyable activities Relationships or perhaps Achievement or sense of meaning and Purpose.

What inspired you to start this project? What was your vision for how it might help people or bring benefit to the world?

I remember really clearly when the inspiration came – it was after reading Elizabeths Gilbert’s extremely popular post January last year about keeping a physical Happiness Jar where you would have to put a note in with at least one happy memory every day. At the end of the year you have 365 colorful and beautiful memories to look back at. And then I thought ‘but what about people who travel a lot or don’t have space or time for a physical jar – there surely must be a digital happiness jar?’ But it did not exist! So I decided I needed to create it.

This idea of happiness pathways is taken from a famous theory in Positive Psychology by Martin Seligman, but with this app it is your actual memories and experiences make your classification and the jar very personal.

I believe it is very important to appreciate little daily moments of happiness because that is how happiness and wellbeing is created long term. My vision still is that The Happiness Jar makes the world a happier place one memory at a time, it lets us store and recall small happy moments and ensures that happiness is something of here and now not something forever in the future.

How did this project fit in or relate to the work you already do?

It is very much in line with the work I do. I am a Positive Psychology coach, a Happiness coach. I work one on one to improve wellbeing and happiness as well as give workshops and seminars on Science of Happiness for companies, I teach a Happiness project course at a Business school and I also lecture on Happiness on cruise ships. So The Happiness Jar app is another more practical application of ideas I love to spread and promote.

Do you have a technical background? Had you worked on any app development projects before? Did you feel daunted by the technology aspect?

I do not have a technical background and I have never worked on an app development project before. However this project actually flowed with ease and grace. I feel the key is to create a team of likeminded people who also just love the idea and then create clarity of what is the minimum we have to do for this to be a success.

Who (if anyone) did you team up with to make your project come to life?

We had a very small team of 3 people: Me Aija Bruvere as the creator, author of idea, leader and then the team leader-programmer for technical execution and development Edgards Zvirgzds as well as a designer Liva Asmane for creating the visual aspect of it.

I think the right people attract when the idea is clear and the world is ready for the idea, I had never worked with that programmer or designer before but it was clear the connection and team vision was formed around The Happiness Jar idea specifically.

What did you learn about your own creative process along the way?

That at first there is this one very clear idea and the conviction I have to do this, then there is the expansive stage of more ideas associated with it and how to make it even more impressive and great. So there is this huge influx of related and unrelated ideas at one point. And then I had to ground it, to narrow it down to the minimum simple clear idea again to make it happen within the short timeframe. Team work and discussions are helpful in the creative process.

What stage are you up to now and what will come next?

We have just released the app and done initial push for promoting it mainly through our own networks and on Facebook. So we are still at the launch stage. The focus right now really is the promotion (getting people to know about it but with no budget for promotion) and also on building the version for Android phones which proved more difficult and time consuming than we though. From idea to reality, getting to this stage, took about one year.

My vision for the project is that the The Happiness Jar app will have a second stage that requires building a platform. Luckily we were able to create the app on a shoestring budget, investing a lot of personal time and enthusiasm but to go forward we would need an actual investor who believes in the project to take it to the next stage. So I guess the next stage is not so much about the creativity it is about creating a new business model.

What has been the response so far? How do you feel about the app?

The response from the right target market is very positive – people really say they love the idea and that they love how simple it is. It feels good to have created it in just one year from inception of the idea and in just 4 month from really getting the team together and creating a plan of how we are going to do this. While we have the vision for further expansion and that would require investment, the response from potential investors however has been much more reserved. But I guess our task now is to build up number of users to the point that investors are convinced people love this and it is worthwhile.

How do you feel about yourself as a creative person after making the app?

Manifestation of a creative idea does have a certain sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. There is for sure an aspect of Happiness in it that is associated with Meaning and achievement. I guess the creation of The Happiness Jar can go into The Happiness Jar as something very positive that has happened for me in 2016! (laughs).

What tips or suggestions do you have for someone else with an idea who wants to make it happen?

Ideas that take you out of your comfort zone have a huge creative potential.

It is paramount to find the right people who can help make the idea into reality.

Trust that inspiration and idea that comes to us also comes with certain responsibility and we have to be grateful that it has come and can also make the world a better place by helping it manifest.

—-

About the interviewee:

aija-profile-picAija Bruvere is a coaching psychologist and business consultant currently living and working in Sydney, Australia. Besides having a degree in Economics and Business Adminstration as well as Masters degree in Social sciences Aija has obtained her Graduate Diploma in Coaching Psychology from University of Sydney, with particular focus on applied Positive Psychology. Aija Bruvere is passionate about sharing scientific research and making it applicable. Aija is the owner and founder of ABM Consulting, a firm specializing in executive coaching, workshops and seminars. Since 2008 Aija Bruvere has prepared and facilitated series of personal development seminars and workshops that focus on leadership, goal attainment, transformation, success and happiness. In 2015 and 2016 Aija has run seminars and retreats in Australia, Indonesia, Taiwan, Singapore and Latvia.

More about Aija Bruvere: http://aijabruvere.com

More about the free mobile app The Happiness Jar: http://thehappinessjar.com

About the interviewer:

JadephotoJade Herriman is a Sydney-based transpersonal art therapist, Barbara Sher coach and facilitator. She works with clients to help bring more creativity into their lives, plan for their professional development, manage big life change and go after their dreams. She works with groups, individuals and online to deliver workshops and help support people work towards their dreams. She brings a playful, flexible and creative approach to serious issues, and draws on many years of experience working in organisations in project management, policy and research roles to bring practical solutions to her clients. To work together one on one or find out more about future workshops contact her HERE.

 

 

Mental health moments

The problem with our critical inner voice is that it’s very easy to believe it.

At the time, when it’s loud and convincing it’s easy to believe.

Mine sometimes says things like this:

– you are so fat, all those wellness people are judging you

– you have nothing interesting to say, and you’re awkward, and no one likes you

– you’re so weird and not saying enough. They can all tell. They think you’re stupid

Seriously. These exact words. The last time they flared up I was at a networking event. It started out well, I was feeling positive and a bit apprehensive. I started ok, I did, but then I fell out of a conversation and things got self conscious and weird.

(This is despite being aware of it, despite years of therapy, despite being trained in counselling.)

Once that narrative starts up nice and loud I tend to get swept up in it. After all if those things are true, I should probably just slink off home – right? I should probably never go out. I should probably not try talking to anyone because they won’t enjoy my weirdness rubbing off on them.

I left in a bit of a funk – here I was fat, weird, awkward and everyone knew it.

Later, when the mood sweeps by, the clouds shift, a blue sky emerges, I feel fine. I feel calm and OK with myself and think I’m no more awkward or weird than anyone else. I resume normal programming. I enjoy socialising and even meeting new people. I become the person who helps other people not feel awkward in groups by talking with them, or introducing and connecting people.

So these experiences, and the voice in my head that convinces me I’m not worthy, actually helps me be finely attuned to other people and social dynamics. It helps me know fully in my body what uncomfortable feels like and to absolutely want to help make situations like this more caring and accessible to others.

These experiences also mean that I understand clients who struggle with anxiety, and strive to create a safe space in my one on one work and in groups where clients can be honest about our inner voice and how unhelpful it can be sometimes. Because this inner voice, this loop / mindset/ inner critic is an issue for most people. Not just people seeking help through therapy, but most people who are going about their lives are held back at some time due to doubts and fears that often express themselves as negative self-talk.

It comes up in art therapy sessions, it comes up in coaching, and so it should; because our inner scripts are often our invisible limits – they can shape what we will and won’t try, they tell us strong stories about what we deserve or what it is possible to experience in life.

How about you? Do you have any bitter, hurtful or challenging narratives that pop up when you are stressed or feeling low? Have you worked to replace them with kinder narratives about yourself? Do they give you insight or empathy you can take back into the world? Have you ever worked to change one and replace it with something more useful?

Creative Project – Barbara talks about making creativity at the heart of her life

Welcome to the Creative Project! This is the third interview in a series I’m doing with people who are working on a creative passion project in their lives. By ‘creative project’ I don’t mean just things related to the arts – but anything that is about bringing something fresh into the world, creating something that wasn’t there before and drawing on your own creative energy to make it happen.

What is the difference between people who get behind their ideas and make them happen and those who are swimming in ideas but never get moving on them? How are people making time for their creative projects and weaving them into their lives?

What can we learn from others who have backed their ideas with action?

I want you dear reader to be able to glean any gems from their experience that might help you with your own creative projects. I’ll even share stories about a couple of my own creative projects, and some of the learning I’ve done myself along the way. So let’s get started!


Today I’m speaking with Barbara Courtille about her art making practice: how it fits into her life and how she recently approached developing a website to share her work. I’ve known Barbara for a number of years and her consistency in her art making practice, the way she weaves the threads of what is most important to her into her life, and the pragmatic way she approaches work really inspired me. She also once told me about her regular practice of giving away pieces of her art stealthily in a public place… which inspired me to do the same and led to me discovering the Art Abandonment movement.

Tell us a little about your journey with art making? When did you start? What have you done over the years?

I’ve been making art as far as I can remember. I was one of those kids who could stay quiet and absorbed in the creative process for hours.

After high school I worked as a graphic designer for a few years, at the time I thought it may be a creative job but it wasn’t so eventually after a set of synchronistic events I found myself at art school in my mid 20s. I really thrived in that environment, it was so liberating to be surrounded by other artists and to be making art each and every day. After art school, a group of us got together and set up a studio space from which to work and we began to exhibit as a collective and separately. It was a very fertile creative time but eventually we all wanted to broaden our horizons and went our separate ways moving to different cities. I continued to paint full time and exhibit until poverty and the tax office prompted me to find a ‘real’ job. And so like many artists, I continue to juggle the work/art balance, always looking for ways to increase my ‘art’ time and to reduce my ‘work’ time. It’s a dance that I continue to refine.

What does art making do for you? What is your relationship to your creativity?

It’s a huge part of my experience and I really can’t imagine life without creativity. It’s an integral part of my being, I don’t view it as an external thing that I do, it’s just a part of who I am.

Art seems intimately linked to your spirituality and emotional wellbeing, specifically your yoga practice. Can you tell us a bit about that?

Art, yoga, spirituality and wellbeing for me are intrinsically linked and one of the same. I experience asana practice as an art form using breath and body as the medium. I bring creativity and ritual into my teaching of meditation and making art is a form of meditation in itself, it’s being totally absorbed in the present and in the process. It’s the best place to be!

What do you hope to communicate with your artworks? What ripples do you hope they make in the world?

I like to inspire people to make art in whatever way they enjoy whether it’s the traditionally recognised art forms of painting, music, dance, writing etc. or in the endless ways that humans are creative such as cooking, gardening, dressing up etc. Many of the activities that we partake in can be approached with the intention of creativity and that makes all the difference between a fulfilling (and for some spiritual) experience or one that is routine and mundane.

Let’s talk about about your recent projects: creating a dedicated website to share your work. Were these challenging steps to take? What were your fears, or what challenged you about these steps?

It was never my plan to have a dedicated website for my work, it’s something that happened slowly and organically.

I resisted having my own website for many years as I feared that it would be yet another admin task that would use up too much of my creative time. As it turned out, I really enjoyed designing my website (yoginithreads.com) and instead of seeing it as another to-do task, I approach it as a creative project in itself. The website remains a work in progress and I enjoy tinkering with it. I have lots of ideas for its growth in the future.

What did you have to learn to get these steps done?

For me it was about removing limiting beliefs (I don’t have the skills to do it, it’s too hard, it will take up too much time etc. ) Like all big projects, it’s a good idea to take it one small step at a time, focus on the one task in the present and try to not get too overwhelmed by the enormity of the desired outcome.

Any final words to leave us with? Anything else you’d like to say?

I believe that if you bring creativity into everything you do it can significantly transform your experience. Treat each moment with reverence, learn, grow, be brave and most of all, be yourself. Don’t compare yourself to others, you have your own unique essence which makes you special. By being yourself and allowing your creativity to shine, you can also inspire others to do the same.

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About the interviewee:

Barbara Courtille is a French born artist working in Sydney Australia. She is a dedicated yogini, meditation teacher and founder of Yoginithreads. Her work is heavily influenced by yoga philosophy, feminine power and ancient wisdom. See her work at: www.yoginithreads.com

About the interviewer: 

Jade Herriman is a Sydney-based transpersonal art therapist, Barbara Sher coach and facilitator. She works with clients to help bring more creativity into their lives, plan for their professional development, manage big life change and go after their dreams. She works with groups, individuals and online to deliver workshops and help support people work towards their dreams. She brings a playful, flexible and creative approach to serious issues, and draws on many years of experience working in organisations in project management, policy and research roles to bring practical solutions to her clients. To work together one on one or find out more about future workshops contact her HERE.

 

Feeling the feels – tired

Energy levels and what to do with them have been a big theme for my personal growth the past few years. (Oh hang on – is ‘personal growth’ a bit of a new agey cliché? By all means replace with ‘learning/ musing/ reflections/ new habits’ or whatever works).

What to do when I feel dead tired like a lump and have no oomph or get up and go whatsoever.

How to use energy when I have it.

What deflates me.

When I need to rest.

When I am tired in the mind versus tired in the body versus tired from a sugar slump versus tired from not enough sleep. When I feel icky from having absorbed complex emotional stuff that I need time to process. When I feel tired because actually I’m sad. When I feel sad because actually I’m tired.

Getting much better acquainted with what tired is.

I am finding my 100 words for tired like the fabled innuit and snow.

And finding a way to make space for it, accept it and make room for it without fear or judgement or ‘should’. Without fighting it and ‘pushing on’ or ‘soldiering on’ or ‘just doing it’.

I am trying to feel the rhythms of my body much more keenly and create a life that adjusts to them, respects them and works around them – not forcing my body to stick to routine and expected outputs that my mind makes up.

Because who am I to know what important work my body might be doing while I am tired and rest? Which cells might be tinkered with and replaced, which emotions are being sifted through, which memories stored, which ideas are growing in the subterranean dark of my subconscious. I am moving to respect my body’s wisdom much more – even if the Goddess of Efficiency and Productivity is no longer receiving her sacrifice.

Even if my sense of self (attached to energy, creativity and outputs) has to subtly shift over and adjust sometimes to make room for tired, not-creating, listless or idle me.

I practice expanding to embrace both. I practice feeling peace with it all.

The C- word

Some thoughts today on comparison…I know I sometimes find myself comparing my ‘progress’ to others’, maybe you do too. Some reflections:

* Maybe the things that take a lot of energy for YOU don’t for others. They might find them easy and fun and they do them quickly because they’re good at them (whether through training, natural gifts or years of practice, or both, who knows). Like for me the idea of speaking another language is vast and terrifying and exhausting – some of you do it every day. You might find the idea of regular writing of blog posts and social media feels overwhelming, for me it feels easy and fun. I find the idea of preparing and cooking a three complex course meal in one day and then cleaning up after it completely exhausting – my husband does this and more each day because he is a trained and practiced chef. There are countless other examples.

* There are always people doing more and always people doing less – comparing yourself and judging yourself or them doesn’t help us to do more

* Just because one horse likes to walk and another likes to run does it make the running horse bad somehow? Or the walking horse? Or the horse having a snooze in the paddock? Or the horse distracted by a nice flower? Aren’t all the horses welcome to be who they are and do what they like?

* We all have the same number of hours in the week, but we all have different priorities, circumstances and energy levels. Some of us have caring roles for family members. Some of us have day jobs. Some of us might spend the whole week on house, family and errands. Some of us have creative and spiritual practices happening ‘behind the scenes’. Some of us want time for reading, or travelling, or classes, or volunteering, or bird watching, or tightrope walking, or polishing the silverware, or ironing our underpants – some of us don’t. Each of our lives has a different mix of activities and commitments based on what we love to do, feel we need to do, choose to do, and what we feel physically and emotionally able to do.

* Different commitment leads to different outcomes. Some of us work 8 hour days at our creative pursuits/ business/ whatever else, some of us work 8 hours a week or fortnight or month on it. Or others might be lucky to spend 8 hours a year on it (like me and learning languages for example). Some of us are trying to make coaching/training/writing/ art/ sport/ whatever other pursuits a full time income, some are doing it as an add-on to an already established business, for some it might be a hobby or nice occasional income. Comparing just the outputs of people without seeing the different levels of inputs doesn’t make much sense. Of COURSE the person who attends language class every week will have mastered much more than me occasionally listening to you tube videos on Spanish for travellers, or pretending I can learn Icelandic by watching nordic noir and copying the sounds they make occasionally (yes, I actually do this, it make me very happy!). How can I feel agrreived at their progress if I wasn’t similarly willing to head out to class each week and do the homework?

What about you? Any thoughts on comparison and how it makes us feel? When is it helpful and when is it not? How do you get yourself out of comparison loops? When do you find it actually useful for your own progress and inspiration?

xxx

And right now in the middle there is silence

I want to share a moment with you.

That moment when, in the middle of a group art therapy session, everything goes quiet.

It’s a special kind of silence.

Not a hushed reverent silence.

Not an awkward silence of a mismatched dinner party.

Not a lazy bored or angry silence.

But deep down and busy silence. It’s each participant engrossed in their own process. Busy as bees testing, trying, expressing. Calm. In flow. No where else to go. No rush or stumble. Almost no awareness of the room outside the ends of their arms.

I love this silence because it is so easy to be around people when they are in this special place. There is a hum. A silent hum.

We are all of us comfortably together and happily seperate in this deep quiet middle time. People come out of it with an artwork and with story and with thoughts. It’s like a diver coming back to surface with sea treasures dangling in hand wet and glistening.

This is part of what my first year in business has been about: witnessing, observing, orchestrating and enjoying.

Witness Statement

In crime dramas we see witnesses step forward to tell the story of what happened. They give an account to the police, and describe who did what wearing which hoodie.

In transpersonal art therapy we try to develop the inner witness. A little bit like the witness at a crime scene, the inner witness state is a mild, calm observer, who notices all that happens, the ‘good’, the ‘bad’ the mundane, the meaning laden. It does not jump to react, or fix, chase, or punish, it is the part that just quietly observes.

Specifically, the witness is that part of ourselves that observes ourselves reacting, doing, feeling, thinking. It watches calmly saying ‘oh look at that, I’m angry today. I wonder why that is?’ Or it notices ‘hmm, I seem to be operating in a pattern this week. I notice that.’

What makes the witness different to other parts of ourselves that might also observe is that it does so without judgement or self reproach. So if the narrative in our heads is slipping towards ‘oh gee, look what I did. Again! Why do I always do that, I’m such an idiot’ then we are probably hearing our inner harsh school teacher or angry parent rather than our inner witness.

To take it back to the crime scene analogy, the inner witness is almost like the part of ourself that floats above the happenings down at street level, or maybe saw all the action happening while it was nice and safe peering through the curtains of the front window. It is neither the criminal, nor the victim, neither the force of justice and judgement wearing a police uniform, nor is it the traumatised observer or angry shopkeeper. The inner witness is more like a shaggy calm old dog sitting further down the street watching the action unfold thinking ‘oh, what’s all this that’s going on? Interesting’.

100 tiny winter sadnesses

This week as the weather turns cold here in the Southern Hemisphere I was thinking about those feelings of melancholy that can arise as the days shorten and the wind is icy, or maybe just when we are tired and weary. These observations for me are often not deep grief but small sadnesses that are often tinged with sweetness about the fragility and beauty of life.

Here are some that I thought of:

Walking home in shoes that pinch

Watching grey lipped people caught in t-shirts by the first winds of Autumn

Saying goodbye to a small child whose face can’t believe you would go right now in the middle of fun

Someone coming a long way and preparing for the journey only to not get what they came for

Wishing someone would do something different and knowing they won’t

The smell of a dinner coming from another house when you have nothing planned

Going to take the last sip of your coffee only to realise you already have

Trying to save a spider only to realise you’ve already wet them with soapy water beyond repair

Noticing your teeth have gone yellow

One lone white eyebrow hair sitting amongst the many

The faded poster for a lost cat

A chain store moving into your row of village shops

The basket of odd socks that you can’t quite bear to tackle

A lost button

Messages stuck on a phone with no password to listen to them

 

No, I couldn’t think of 100. I only got to 15. Are there any tiny sadnesses you would add?

—–

Today I honour fleeting sadness and melancholy as a part of life – feelings that are with us sometimes, and that we hopefully move through easily and gently if we do not fear them, and notice when they arise. Observing our feelings and thoughts, exploring them, expressing them in therapy or through art is a helpful way to make sense of our world.

Poignant observations about the changing seasons have been part of storytelling and poetry for a long long time. You may be in a different season today – but what do you notice that speaks to you of that season, and evokes some emotion? Try a list of your own… 100 tiny summer joys? 100 churning Autumn changes? 100 hopeful emergences in Spring?

If things feel sad, hopeless or flat most days and have felt that way for two weeks or more, you may be suffering from depression. Here is more information From Black Dog Institute on when to seek help and also where to seek help.

Learning to ask

I wanted the egg and bacon roll special. But without the bacon. And maybe with tomato or avocado instead. So we might call that an egg and tomato roll, if you’re keeping up. Quite simple. Not something outrageous or hard to construct. Not illegal or dangerous. Not something likely to overly challenge the culinary skills of the sandwich hand making it.

So I walked right up and asked for it.

That is, I said ‘can I have the roll without bacon and maybe with something else instead, if that’s alright?’

She said ‘sure. How about double egg?’

I looked horrified (how boring! What a missed opportunity for flavour! And how would I eat such a roll with two slippery eggs fighting it out to remain between bread?).

She said ‘cheese?’

I said ‘OK’. Thinking of how slimy such a combination would be. Of what an odd, pale, bland, slimy combo that is. And said thanks, and paid her.

Do you see how this coud have panned out differently? They had tomato, they had avocado, I was just vaguely scared they’d say no.

Sounds silly when you say it like that right?

I was too scared to ask for tomato.

In case I couldn’t have it.

So I hinted and left the decision with someone else. And didn’t get what I wanted.

I may as well have walked in and said ‘give me anything other than avocado or tomato, because I don’t think I deserve them or that you would be kind enough to let me have them’.

Which is really like shouting to the universe ‘I don’t think what I want matters, I don’t think however this whole thing works involves me getting to have what I want… And I think everybody else’s mild disapproval or inconvenience is much more important than my strong wishes.’

And if this is how I behave when the stakes are about as low as they can get…I mean seriously, we are talking about a slice of tomato… how would I behave if the stakes were high and I REALLY wanted something and REALLY didn’t want someone to tell me no?

This reminds me of two things. Firstly the very good book ‘Art of Asking’ by Amanda Palmer, which I found deep down to my toes inspiring, and recommend you read if you haven’t yet, and secondly the idea that sometimes we are so tied to our view of how the world works that we would rather see it unchallenged more than we would almost anything – even more than we would like to be happy.

So if you find it hard to ask, it might be worth digging around and shining a light on the foundations of yourself. Are there some ghost rules or declarations about the universe slinking around and whispering in your ear?

Do you think there’s no use asking because no one will help you?

Do you think what you want doesn’t matter?

Do you think it’s rude to disrupt the status quo and someone will get angry with you if you’re not grateful for what you’re given?

Do you think it’s selfish and bad to want things or to ask for them?

Do you think you’re not worth a piece of tomato?

At some stage we need to step out of our old beliefs that no longer serve us. We need to practice our asking skills.

Naming our wishes is so important – EVEN THOUGH it makes us feel vulnerable, even though we may not get them, even though people may say no. Despite all of this, or maybe because of it, it is really important to work on our asking muscles on the little things, so we can use them to lift the really big wishes and ask for them too.


Work with me:

I currently have some spaces becoming available for one on one coaching and art therapy clients.

  • In coaching I support you to work towards your goals, making changes that you want to make in your life. In coaching we look at the underlying mindset issues as well as approaching the practicalities of getting things done – with clever tricks to get around anxiety and lots of support and encouragement (aka a personal cheer squad) so you feel less afraid to tackle the difficult tasks. See here for more information.
  • In art therapy I help you process and express feelings in ways that let you see yourself and your situation in new ways. We make room for the feeling dimensions of life and explore your inner world using symbols and metaphor and creative expression. We can do art therapy face to face if you are in Sydney, or by distance if you are elsewhere around the world. See here for more information and contact me here to get in touch.