As soon as I made the commitment I mysteriously no longer wanted to do it. At all.
As soon as I made the public commitment to keep painting faces ready to exhibit them, I suddenly stopped wanting to do it.
I forgot all about them.
Whatever urge I had to work on them had just dissipated, morning dew evaporating under the fierce light of the sun.
This is one way resistance shows up.
As forgetfulness. As sudden disinterest. As sudden more urgent priorities eclipsing the goal or project.
We bury the tender dream deep under protective layers of slumber.
And then we feel safe again.
No vulnerable going out on a limb.
No putting ourself in front of critics.
No deliberately stepping closer to danger.
The long term, deep and diffuse pain of not acheiving our goals seems preferable to the short term anxiety inducing fearful pain of actually moving towards them.
So how to work over, under, alongside or around resistance?
Next week’s post has some ideas.