Feeling the feels – tired

Energy levels and what to do with them have been a big theme for my personal growth the past few years. (Oh hang on – is ‘personal growth’ a bit of a new agey cliché? By all means replace with ‘learning/ musing/ reflections/ new habits’ or whatever works).

What to do when I feel dead tired like a lump and have no oomph or get up and go whatsoever.

How to use energy when I have it.

What deflates me.

When I need to rest.

When I am tired in the mind versus tired in the body versus tired from a sugar slump versus tired from not enough sleep. When I feel icky from having absorbed complex emotional stuff that I need time to process. When I feel tired because actually I’m sad. When I feel sad because actually I’m tired.

Getting much better acquainted with what tired is.

I am finding my 100 words for tired like the fabled innuit and snow.

And finding a way to make space for it, accept it and make room for it without fear or judgement or ‘should’. Without fighting it and ‘pushing on’ or ‘soldiering on’ or ‘just doing it’.

I am trying to feel the rhythms of my body much more keenly and create a life that adjusts to them, respects them and works around them – not forcing my body to stick to routine and expected outputs that my mind makes up.

Because who am I to know what important work my body might be doing while I am tired and rest? Which cells might be tinkered with and replaced, which emotions are being sifted through, which memories stored, which ideas are growing in the subterranean dark of my subconscious. I am moving to respect my body’s wisdom much more – even if the Goddess of Efficiency and Productivity is no longer receiving her sacrifice.

Even if my sense of self (attached to energy, creativity and outputs) has to subtly shift over and adjust sometimes to make room for tired, not-creating, listless or idle me.

I practice expanding to embrace both. I practice feeling peace with it all.

2 thoughts on “Feeling the feels – tired

  1. Dear Jade, I feel sad and happy when I read your post. I feel happy because it’s so important to address this issue! I feel sad remembering how I have pushed myself in the past. I hope it’s ok to share some of my own personal story here? My environment over the past two and a half years has been focused on supporting my husband during his experience of having cancer. I have often struggled with self care during this time. Just two weeks ago I was feeling so Tired! And sad because I had no energy for my beloved art/ creative projects. Then one day
    I had chest pains and ended up in the emergency department. I had had a heart attack. I was shocked! And of course there is more to this than tiredness. My genetic history seems to have caught up with me! Anyway I am recovering and have been forced to really DO self care, to come into relationship with my tiredness, just as you are describing. Big wake up call. Humbling. Lots of love in your own personal quest. Xo ❤️

  2. How wise of you, Jade! I especially like the reference to the Inuit and the vocabulary for snow -finding new and varying ways to express fatigue. It’s all subtly different and we should pay attention and address it accordingly. Very wise.
    — Deborah Thomas

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s